LA Today Spotlight: Ros B on The Mistress and the Wife
- Jun 9
- 7 min read
MEET THE AUTHOR
Meet Ros B., a Long Beach resident with a deep love for the ocean, a professional background as a Medical Laboratory Scientist, and training in Ministry to Women. Drawing from her own lived experiences, spiritual foundation, and a heart dedicated to lifting up other women, Ros has crafted a deeply resonant debut novel with The Mistress and the Wife that explores the quiet, difficult work of healing after the ultimate betrayal.
ABOUT THE BOOK
What happens when the life you spent years building slowly dissolves underneath you?
In The Mistress and the Wife, readers are invited into the world of Kayleigh—a woman whose seemingly stable marriage unravels into a devastating web of deception. Inspired by true events, the novel does not sanitize the pain of infidelity or rush toward easy closure. Instead, it sits with the raw, heavy reality of betrayal, guiding Kayleigh through a slow, sacred journey of self-discovery, spiritual resilience, and ultimate triumph. It is an unflinching, character-driven look at relationships, self-worth, and what it truly means to rebuild a life from the wreckage.
WHAT READERS ARE SAYING
"The Mistress and the Wife got under my skin in the most raw and emotionally powerful way. I expected a dramatic story about infidelity, and instead got a deeply honest and soul-stirring journey of heartbreak, healing, and redemption that lingers long after the final page." — Challenge Corner Book Club
"What stands out is how the narrative doesn’t rush the exposure of truth... Kayleigh’s journey shifts from external conflict to internal reconstruction. The focus subtly moves away from 'what was done' toward 'what remains of the self after certainty is removed.'" — John Mack, Book Marketing Strategist
7 QUESTIONS
WITH ROS B
1. You began writing in high school by inventing journal entries so believable your teacher thought they were real. With The Mistress and the Wife being inspired by true events, how did you balance truth and fiction to make Kayleigh’s journey feel so authentic?
I actually started writing in junior high school after a friend shared her story with me and I wanted to write one too. The Mistress and the Wife is inspired by the relationships I had throughout my young adult life. I was young, naive and vulnerable because I had a protected childhood and I made bad choices in men. I even experienced an abusive relationship but didn’t recognize it at the time. I just thought he had a bad temper. Women who grow up without a father often look for love in all the wrong places. In trying to fill a void, we often accept what looks or sounds good but really isn’t good for us. In trying to fill a void, we are easily manipulated and used.
All the major emotions in The Mistress and the Wife are real. I experienced them due to betrayal and heartbreak. I was depressed. I felt like a failure as a woman and as a wife. What did she have that I didn’t have? Why did he choose her over me? I cried and slept a lot and I had suicidal ideations.
As a child, I read many books to escape my restricted life. I couldn’t go anywhere but to church and school for religious reasons and fear that something would happen to me. (During the summer months, though, mom took me up north to visit family, hence my love of travel.) Over the years, I’ve watched a lot of television. Some of the scenes in my book were shaped by what I experienced, what I read in books or online news articles and what I saw on television. But the emotions are real.
2. As both a Medical Laboratory Scientist and someone trained in Ministry to Women, how did your scientific mind and spiritual foundation shape the way you wrote about heartbreak, infidelity, forgiveness, and healing?
Science had nothing to do with it. It was all spiritual. I grew up in the church and forgiveness is required by God. Matthew 6:15 of the King James Version says, “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Pain and disappointment are a part of life. Holding on to them does not change what happened and it does not make you a better person. It makes you a bitter person which leads to health issues and your hurting someone else.
Letting go of pain and disappointment allows you to grow as a person, to heal and become whole again. We all make mistakes and bad decisions. And we should extend to others the grace we want God to extend to ourselves when we mess up. Everyone has a story that shaped them into the person they are. Some people have childhood trauma that they refuse to face or are simply unable to face.
Okay, science has a little to do with it. In order to be healthy and whole, you must release the stress of anger and hate. But it’s mostly spiritual.
3. The title The Mistress and the Wife suggests two women often seen as opponents. How does your book help readers understand both sides of infidelity, especially when deception and manipulation are involved?
The mistress and the wife are opponents. They both want the same man. The mistress wants the love and attention he is giving her and the promise of a great future together. Based on the married man’s narrative, the mistress may feel that the wife doesn’t deserve him and that she is the better choice for him. The wife has built a life and family with this man and she doesn’t want to lose that. Most times, she doesn’t even have a clue that something is wrong.
There are two sides to every story. There are some mistresses who do not know that they are the mistress. Some men lie to get what they want and unfortunately it causes pain for two innocent individuals.
My book shows how one woman unwittingly got involved with a married man. Had she known the truth, she would not have made the decision to be with him. As the story progresses, the mistress becomes the wife and experiences the other side of an affair.
4. You have said, “If he needs a side chick, it’s not because you’re not woman enough; it’s because he’s not man enough.” What would you say to women who are questioning their worth after betrayal?
Don’t ever question your self-worth after a betrayal. He made a choice that is all about him—his lack of maturity, discipline, loyalty, and accountability. He has baggage that he has not unpacked because he is not strong enough to face his truth. A real man doesn’t play games. A real man communicates his needs and acts responsibly. If the relationship is not a good fit for him, he acknowledges that and tries to resolve the issue with his wife, not with some other woman. You are a beautiful woman who has much to offer the man God has for you and much to receive from the gift God has specifically for you.
5. You wrote this book during a time of deep pain with the thought, “I don’t want other women to go through this.” How did writing Kayleigh’s story help you turn heartbreak into a message of survival, self-worth, and hope?
After my divorce, I lay in bed day after day hurting and crying. I questioned myself. Why did I do this? How did I let that happen? How did I miss the red flags? Why did I ignore the warning signs? He did to me what he did to her. I questioned God. How could you let this happen to me? I trusted you.
Once the fog cleared, my first thought was, “I don’t want other women to go through this.” I never wanted another woman to experience the excruciating pain of betrayal that I experienced. My heart felt like it was being physically crushed. Once the fog dissipated, my purpose was clear: help other women—warn them beforehand and encourage them afterward.
Writing Kayleigh’s story was very cathartic. I cried a lot and put the book down many times saying I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t finish it. But something kept pushing me. Completing the book brought great joy and a feeling of accomplishment. I pushed through the pain as I want every other woman to do. No matter what happens in life, we have the strength to rebound. I put my heart into my book hoping it would be a beacon of hope and encouragement for other women. A symbol of obtainable inner strength.
6. For readers who connect deeply with Kayleigh’s story, what do you hope they do after closing the book?
I decided to address infidelity because it is so widespread and it is so damaging. Recovery (if obtained) is a long, painful process. I want to encourage women to love themselves first and to know their self-worth and to not settle for less than what they deserve. Don’t be manipulated into a relationship that is only going to hurt you. I was involved with several married men during my young adult years because they lied to me. It was not a good feeling to know that I was lied to and used. Affairs break up families and have lasting effects on everyone close to the cheater. Affairs cause a cycle of hurt; hurt people hurt people.
First, what goes around comes around. The Bible says, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” KJV Galatians 6:7. Kayleigh was the mistress living it up with her new man, then she became the scorned wife casually discarded for someone new. All decisions that we make have outcomes, whether good or bad. We should always treat others the way we would want to be treated if the situation was reversed.
Second, I hope readers who connect deeply with Kayleigh’s story will understand that although her journey was painful, her outcome was victorious. Learn from her mistakes, know your self-worth, and make wise relationship decisions. To the brokenhearted, be encouraged. You will get through this. You can heal and love again.
7. You live in Long Beach and have a deep love for the beach, nature trails, travel, and exploring new places. What is your favorite specific place in Los Angeles County to relax, reflect, or feel inspired?
My favorite spot in LA County is Junipero Beach. I love gazing out at the ocean, watching the waves roll in. The water is so calming. I look at the Queen Mary and Carnival ships coming and going. I’m entertained by the birds fighting for breadcrumbs and the children playing on the beach. There are various vendors, bikers, skaters, classic cars. And I love the beautiful sunsets. Anytime is a good time to go. A flurry of activity during the day, mostly quiet and calm at night.
